Familiar and Foreign

Have you ever seen those scenes in movies where someone has some strange out of body experience that allows them to see themselves in a very surreal situation? That happened to me. Sort of. Just not in the glamorous Hollywood movie kind of way. I definitely daydreamed about it being a sitcom or romantic comedy in the moment...about a girl who is finding a new lease on life as she approaches the end of her 20's.

Anyhow, this past weekend was spent celebrating a friend's birthday and it meant I found myself in an all too familiar setting. Me, two couples, who have been the best of friends for me over the last several years, and my former half rounded out a group of six at an intimate dinner in a swanky downtown Franklin establishment. I knew the scenario had the potential to be uncomfortable, awkward, and maybe even tense but had chosen not to think about it and focus on the milestone birthday of such a dear friend.

However, there were so many moments throughout the evening I found myself watching, studying, wondering....how did something, someone, who was so familiar to me now seem so foreign? The past 10 years of my life sitting right across from me, yet it felt like a distant memory rather than what was my day to day life for so long. So I did what any respectable Southern lady would do...I ordered another bourbon and drank away the nagging feeling of such a bittersweet scene.

Unexpected Timing

This isn't the life I saw myself living at 28, but I am learning to like it. Love it, even. With lots of grace and forgiveness for myself and the reasons that I am here. The past is slowly becoming irrelevant enough that my future feels hopeful. For so long there was a fear that I would carry the wounds with me forever. S..l..o..w..l..y they seem to be healing. And while the scars remain, they do not hurt. New experiences, reasons, and people to make me smile. The smiles come easier and more often these days. And the best ones are from unexpected places and timing.