Well my enthusiasm for putting things into words here dwindled fast. Actually it didn't really go away...I just drifted. Feeling a bit lost. Wandering aimlessly through my days. Searching for a new purpose in this new life. Navigating a new routine, new schedules, new demands, new fears. I am learning stop looking back, because each time I do the old path becomes less distinguishable….forcing me to look forward. To clear a new path on a journey that has not yet revealed itself to me. The purgatory of leaving the old behind and not yet knowing what the new entails is draining. Causing the motivation and desire to forge the new seem almost impossible.
What now? This moment. This season in my life. Is this right? Finding a sense of being comfortable in an uncertain world is not a skill I have mastered. Renewing my trust in a higher power that I had convinced myself did not hear me is painful. Accepting that change is the only constant and that some things will never change is infuriating. Yet, I get up everyday, put a smile on my face, and move forward. Because what was all this change and pain for if not for forward momentum?
