"Because what was all this change and pain for if not for forward momentum?"
I suck at blogging as often as I'd like to. Sigh.
Here I am in a bit of a frantic time in my life again, and as I turn to this blog to put thoughts into words my last post offers a very blunt reminder that there is purpose in all this pain. The whole point of turning my life upside down was to move forward. And that I have done. Maybe not as far or as quickly as I'd hoped, but I have moved. It's been a year since I decided divorce (for the 2nd time in the same marriage) was in fact what I wanted. In the last year I've doubted and celebrated that decision in the same day...same hour...same minute. But fewer are the moments that I celebrate or doubt it. It no longer seems to hold such weight in my life. It's almost as if it never happened at all. And for that, I am thankful.
But as I navigate my way back into a more traditional career I can't help but reflect upon how it has shaped this panicked season I've found myself in. So much uncertainty and instability existed prior to ending my 8 year marriage. Worry. Stress. Fear. They've stuck around like old friends that really serve no purpose in your life anymore but seem to always be there. I am determined for these helpless emotions to become as infrequent as my thoughts about my divorce. I am determined to celebrate the forward momentum...despite the few backward steps along the way.
