The picture we paint for others. If only it were real. If only I really had it together. If only I were as strong as everyone perceives me to be.
The truth often feels too difficult to share. So I hide. Behind the smile of a picture...one moment caught and frozen in time that projects happiness, fulfillment, joy, contentment and more. I hide behind laughter. Covering every stressful situation and interaction in humor to mask the feeling of panic and desperation on the inside. I hide behind the alcohol. Drinking away the sting of reality to feel numb to it all.
Then morning comes and I get up and wander aimlessly through the day trying to decipher between what's real and what I've just created as false reality. Not lost though. There are goals, dreams, and wishes to be pursued. So I find some small sense of direction each day to stay pointed towards what I hope to achieve. There may be days of wandering off the path, but there is always a way back. A reason to not get lost in it all.
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